Dinner With God and the Denver Nuggets Dancers

"God": he's always Mr. Popularity. The moody protagonist of three major books of religion is the most invited Guest to Denver Nugget Dancer Fantasy Dinner Parties (picked six times). The next most-popular entity was George Bush (3 nods). So, what if the DNDs pooled their illusions and threw one big bash, come one come all? Would the room look like that Boulevard of Broken Dreams poster that takes off on Edward Hopper's Nighthawks, you know, the one with Marilyn Monroe, Elvis Presley, Humphrey Bogart and James Dean in it? A little...but with some twists. Here's the combined guest list: 1) God and his plus-one, Jesus 2) George Bush (Father or Son? Pick 'em) 3) Princess Diana 4) Marilyn Monroe (it's too bad nobody invited Elton John, in the hopes he'd spark a cat-fight over the "Candle In The Wind" dedication) 5) The secular King of Kings, Elvis Presley 6) Everybody's grandfathers and family members 7) Everybody's asswipe Colin Farrell 8) Tony Hawk 9) Sinking-of-the-Titanic survivor Molly Brown (there is a museum dedicated to her in Denver) 10) Dancin' Scientologist John Travolta 11) Rockin' humanitarian Momma Theresa 12) Fightin' 'em on the beaches Winston Churchill 13) Ray of Blight Madonna 14) The secular god of Middle Class American Women, Oprah 15) Classy Will Ferrell 16) Rebounding Machine Jennifer Anniston 17) God-to-Cheerleaders Janet f'in' Jackson 18) Jessica f'in' Simpson 19) Marine Lance Cpl. Gregory P. Rund of Littleton, CO, who died last year in Iraq 20) and yes, Ellen DeGeneres.

But which Nugget Dancers are coming 'round to Champy's afterwards, for dessert?

1) Vision-of-heaven Kristin Engler (pictured above) please R.S.V.P. Champagne. I got profiterole for ya.

2) Lea Gambino likes "anything that smells like coconut" in the way of perfume, so Champy will rub himself down with snack-size Mounds. Lovin' Lea Gambino ain't racketeering.

3) Erin Giebler, I'm a walking contradiction – and you like Contradiction by Calvin Klein. Kismet!

4) Lindsey Kovacevich says, "Reach for the moon" because "even if you miss it you'll land among the Stars." Is "stars" some new urban youth slang for an erogenous zone I haven't heard about? Kovacevich, you kinky thing you! Be with me.

5) If things go well, you'll be scrap-booking the hell out of this evening, scrap book hobbyist Kimberly Bull.

6) Beth Eckles, are you also writing your Favorite Quotes in code? You say, "The grass isn’t always greener on the other side, it all depends where you water it," huh? Please, please, don't pee on me! (Note: in Champagne Code "don't" means "do"!)

7) Deadhead Michelle Metz, please don't quote Jerry Garcia at the table! (in this case, "don't" means "don't"!)

8) Every other Nugget Dancer used their full given names (alarmingly!... naively?), but you had to be different and go and use your porn handle, didn't you, Amber Manes?

9) Shalisa Pouw, mekka-lekka-hi-mekka-heinie-ho!

10) Diana Schoengarth lives by the words of Steve Prefontaine: "To give less than your best is to sacrifice the gift," which is a much classier line than a shouted "You better work, bitch!!"

11) Allison Burket, your favorite quote made my brain hurt: "Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're probably right." – Henry Ford. Uh. Coffee, anybody?

12) Stefanie Buttars picked the guy who died in Iraq for her fantasy dinner party guest. I salute you, Stefanie, that was nice – and a good, relevant pick. Things would really get uncomfortable, i.e. interesting.

13) Stephanie Rodriquez picked a quote by famed tap dancer James "Buster" Brown as her fave: "That was right...but do it again." But I like this one by him better: "Funky? that's when you look like it smells bad." Pretty much Champagne's state of being after an all-night blog sesh.

14) Terita Johnson, Nicole Moore and Lindsey Dudley, I swear, I sent you invites!

Staying After All The Other Guests Leave: Director/Choreographer Sarah E. Schachterle. Goddamn. That's when the real party gets started!
- Champagne