The clash of the fanatics
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NetsNut vs. Puppet Guy Pop-Off
[Editorial Note: in one corner: The NetsNut, self-described "most passionate fan" that he knows. In the other: Adam Padilla, a.k.a. "The Puppet Guy." When Champagne dared assert that it would be hard to find a more passionate fan than Padilla, who used to bring his hand-made marionettes of Cassell and Gatling to Nets games to stir up the fun, NetsNut got irate at what he imagined was disrespect for his fanaticism and called Padilla a "clown." (see "Popping a NetsNut"). Here at Joe we've been hording the raving emails from each of them until we were certain we had a truly boffo Fan Clash in the Continental to present you with. Well, we think we got it now, even if it does get a little one-sided with NetsNut fixating on the evil deeds of Lou Lamoriello. So please, sit back in your computer chair and enjoy the lashing attacks on Nets management, the fan-to-fan sniping, and the general lunatic enthusiasm these two bring to fandom – and that has been so lacking at almost every Nets game we've attended. Some of our favorite lines from these two lovable megalomaniacs are highlighted in red, plus we gave these emails section heads for a zippier read. NetsNut leads off:]
"Screw Lamoriello Where He Breathes"
Joe:
Remember last week when I wrote you guys about who's a passioniate fan, the hated Lou Lamoriello and real B-ball fanatics??? [Editorial Note: again, read "Popping a NetsNut" to refamiliarize yourself with the NetsNut's first Joe-published screed]. Well let me update you to what the Nets have done since then...
I'm still, by my own admission, the most passionate fan that I know... Bar none... There is no need to discuss this because everytime I have this argument with myself, I always win...
The PA Debacle as Prime Example of Nets' Mismanagement The Nets fired (for one game) and rehired announcer, Gary Sussman... Gary, by the way, is the best announcer that they have had over the past few years, out of the three... Do you guys remember that idiot who they hired for the beginning of last year??? Great booming voice, big head and overstuffed sweater??? I think one of the calls he made was "that's a traveling foul on #44, Stephon Marbury!!!" It was ridiculous... He had someone whispering in his ear (Jenny Kerner) what to say... It was hilarious at first... The Nets had struck a new low!!! That's Nets management for you, always looking to get hit by the right when the left is coming...
Well, since you ran my e-mail, I have gotten about 30 e-mails from other Nets fans and about 40 from Devils fans, in one day, re-iterating what I said about Lamoriello... They almost all, unanimously, feel he could care less about the fans... In fact, he could be "downright rude", one irate fellow wrote me...
Maybe I have been spoiled (being one of only a few season ticket holders left) over the years by the Nets and just don't know what everyone else has had to endure as a Devils fan or just the walk-up window ticket purchaser... Oh yeah, 1988-96, when I "was" a Devils season ticket holder, Lamoriello was a jerk then too!!!
You know what, I just want the Nets to win... Screw Lou Lamoriello where he breathes... That will be the last on that subject, I promise you...[Editorial Note: HA!]
NetsNut Makes an Acceptance Speech and We're Not Sure Why And finally, being the B-ball fanatic that I am, I have to talk about my beloved Nets... They are playing defense, rebounding and scoring... They are actually making shots when it counts, at the end of games... They are making foul shots, except for the last game... They are putting a stranglehold on opposing teams in the last two minutes of games... They are playing like a team...
I should start out by thanking Byron Scott, Eddie Jordan, Mike O'Koren and Lawrence Frank but I'm not sold on Byron just yet or his strategies which sometimes befuddle me at best... So let me thank the person/persons that I think that made the Nets miraculous turnaround happen... Thank you Jason Kidd, Kerry Kittles, Kenyon Martin, Keith Van Horn, Todd MacCulloch, A-Train, Richard Jefferson, Luscious Harris, Derrick Dial, Jason Collins, Brandon (I don't know why he hasn't gotten any minutes) Armstrong and Brian (He will be a crowd favorite) Scalibrine... You guys have finally made it less embarrassing to wear a Nets hat, jacket or shirt in public... For the first time in 20+ years people come up to me and say, "what are you jumping on the bandwagon???"
– NetsNut, November 15, 2001
Puppet Guy Takes All the Credit
Joe:
As a retort to NetsNut, I never considered myself the most passionate Nets fan, so the backlash wasn't really appropriate towards me – as if I had some diabolical purpose behind making the players laugh, get loose, and win a shitload of games the few seasons I was in town. I have been a fan for 10 years, and it hasn't been easy. All I would do is heckle the other teams, lighten up the bench, and clash with the management.
Creation of a Media Sensation I've never gotten paid a cent for my work, and actually almost got thrown out on numerous occasions. I have had my signs confiscated, and been told to shut up and sit down on numerous occasions. Let me say that people like you, good sir, who are so angry that a fan is getting involved creatively with the (terrible) game presentation and actually contributing some energy to that dead arena, are the reason we sucked so bad for so long. Our home crowd acts as if they are sitting shiva at a wake. I met so many glares for standing and cheering, it bordered on surreal. I bet you had so much jealousy of my camera time that you neglected to realize that the more press coverage of my puppets and props was on the Channel 9 news, the more that the media was talking about our upstart, irreverant team.
How I Became Me I used to be a young 14 year old Nets Nut, feverishly drawing portraits of D.C. and Kenny and Drazen, then waiting in the snow to have them sign them, so that I could make some creative contact with those that have brought me so much joy. A non-creative slob like you can't understand that can you? Then I grew up. My talent expanded through the grace of God and I was able to create bigger and better things.
Every Good Idea Was Mine The Nets management hates me – just ask them. Do your research before you accuse the editor of poor investigating [Editorial Note: who, us?]. When I attended college for computer graphics and multimedia, I became an expert at video and audio media. I then began to resent the lackluster game presentation, offering up countless creative suggestions to improve the little things in the arena. I suggested the logo, even sent a 15 page proposal (which I worked on for about 2 months before it came into fruition) outlining the idea of having an alternate game jersey, a futuristic logo incorporating a metallic color, and changing the environment in the arena, to name a few points. I wound up getting a letter from Coach Cal, [John Calipari] thanking me, and the next season, lo and behold, we had 2 out of the three things incepted at the meadowlands. They stole my poster designs, they stole my 'Nets Timeline', they stole my slogans, they basically fuckin' raped all of my creative love for them. When I finally finagled a meeting with the game presentation coordinators by putting pressure on the president and the marketing team, they just lied to my face. Keep in mind I put in WEEKS of work preparing a 30 page demographic report outlining my concepts. Basically stated for the hard of thinking, what I told them was to stop catering to pre-teens and put the focus on the twenty- and thirty-somethings – particularly males. To stop with the dopey mascots and the stupid kiddie shit and to pump up the cheerleaders, kill the fake noise, dim the lights like a real show, and play some good music over good speakers to make the team proud to be a Net. Their reaction? "We don't play fake noise! I swear on my mother!" and "We can't dim the lights! It's against league regulations!" and "We already play good music on a good sound system" (a makeshift p.a. system). I told them they were idiots and frauds and stormed out. Keep in mind I didn't want a job! I just gave them free unsolicited suggestions! And they just wanted to see me as a clown.
I'm Not Like NetsNut or Zorro, I'm A Touchy Artist I guess you and they are kindred spirits, but if you did the math you would realize that the two seasons that I brought my stuff to the game, there was a special feeling in the arena. It wasn't glorifying me, you asshole, it was for my team. Period. Maybe I should have worn a hood over my head like a fuckin' Taliban woman and kept my name a secret like fuckin' Zorro, but I'm not a nitwit like you. So for all your Netsfandom, you can go fuck yourself. And furthermore, the reason that I didn't attend games was my fury at the presentation. I couldn't stand seeing the goddamn clown banners from the rafters, hearing the fake noise when the arena was half full, and witnessing the team playing ball to bad sound loops. I am a detail-oriented person and to me it was simply torture to watch. So I really don't care what you think about me – actually that's a lie. I am pretty hurt that someone from my section, where I was trying to bring a positive vibe, is slinging mud behind my back on a Nets fan site. When I see you this year at a game, I may vomit on you, you piece of shit you.
Happy Holidays.
– Adam Padilla, the most passionate Nets fan on the planet (NetsNut can suck my left nut), December 20, 2001
P.S. Peace Joe and Champagne – you guys rock – look out for netsaction.com. Let's go Nets!
[Editorial Note: read on...Are you kidding? Yes, of course, there's more...NetsNut vs. Puppet Guy Pop-Off Page 2]
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