#11 Todd MacCulloch
Player File
Canadian MacCulloch, 25 years old and 7' 280lbs, is the only Net player on the current roster to have ever played in an NBA Finals game (in 2001 as a Sixer).
Champagne's List of Barely Sensical Todd MacCulloch Nicknames:
• The Big Rig
• The Affable Canadian
• The IditaTodd
• White Fang
• Trodd
• Strange Crew (Cut)
• The Other T Mac
• Todd the Bod
• Shaq Bait
• Hello Rusty Jones
• Red Dawn
• Ginger Spice
• Mr. T
• The Winnipego
• The Pale Collider
The Nickname his Teammates Blessed Him With
• Dip

Todd MacCulloch – C
Joe: Let's see, what exactly do I know about this lengthy Canadian? That Champagne developed a major crush on him during his short but effective stint against Shaq in the NBA finals? What else? He has soft hands, they say, and a nice little offensive game. Can he rebound and play defense, not to mention clear out the area underneath the basket? Beats me. Gut feeling is he'll be the basis for many a storyline this season, both good and bad. In any case, he's the best center on the team, by default. And he's young, with a big contract. So, look for him to start and play at least 25 - 30 minutes a game.

Champagne: The Big Rig! That's what I'm calling him (MacCulloch + Mac Truck = Big Rig)! Hey Netsfans – remember waiting for the damn school bus at about 7 o'clock on a December morning, with your knees clapping in your plaid Garanimals pants? Remember how every time an eighteen wheeler came farting towards your bus stop you'd raise a tiny fist in the air and yank your arm up and down like a maniac? Thereby making a Direct Request in Slow Child Semaphore to some amphetimine-eyed trucker in an Otto von Bismark mustache to sound an air horn in your face? Well sweethearts, cut to Champagne 25 years later, sans pants, squatting and thrusting and screamin' and yankin' in front of his 27" Mitsubishi! 'Cause here comes the Big Rig banging down the toll barriers and rolling that little ol' convoy through the paint! BLAAT! Clear out of the weigh station Kazaam O'Neal, or The Big Rig is gonna jack-knife an elbow right into your gianormous flabby Crunch-bar catcher! Then back over that theiving bastard "Reading is Fundamental" puppy "Brick" repetitively! BLAAT!! BLAAAAT!!! BLAAAAAAT!!!!

2001 - 2001 Nets Roster
Brandon Armstrong - G
Jason Collins - C
Jamie Feick - F
Lucious Harris - G
Richard Jefferson - F
Jason Kidd - PG
Kerry Kittles - G
Kenyon Martin - F
Brian Scalabrine - F
Keith Van Horn - F
Aaron Williams - PF/C

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