Shout
it Out Loud
Got a short, sharp gripe about the NBA, the Nets,
or any other basketball related topic that's been eating up your insides?
Then express yourself: email your Heckle to Joe
(joe@joenetsfan.com) or Champagne
(champagne @joenetsfan.com) and we'll post it in the green bile-colored box
on our homepage. Here is where we'll archive our favorites.
Sixth Man Blues
Simply put, the Nets need better fans. I don't mean to insult anyone out there, but c'mon. New Jersey's now a winning team. Why don't we cheer when they make a basket? Scalabrine's post moves and Power 'N Motion's lame routines get more fanfare than any incredible JKidd pass. New Year's Resolution: As fans, let's step it up. The team has, now it's our turn.
- Matt King
Heckle #46 - December 20, 2002
Dictionary Definitions
re: 12-17-02, Nets vs. Knicks.
Review of game... simple... Webster's Dictionary says:
arrogant: adj. full of or due to pride; haughty.
haughty: adj. having or showing great pride in oneself and contempt for others; arrogant.
That says it all !!!!
- Kevin Gilmore
Heckle #45 - December 17, 2002
Surrounded by Thieves
I live in the area that has Cablevision and it is real nice to know that after January I am to receive an increase for the great services that they perform and that I am still waiting for. These people are nothing but a bunch of thieves in how they handle their business relationship with the public. They are no better than if you were sitting in your car and someone taps on your window with a gun and says "just empty your pockets and you will be alright"...that's Cablevision.
How the State of New Jersey allows this to go on the way it is, is beyond me. Everyone in the state is complaining and nothing gets done.
Cablevision must be supported by all those politicians I keep reading about lately that are being taken out their homes in hand-cuffs.
Politicians...do something...do something besides call us on the telephone when it is time for reelection.
- Steve Halo
Heckle #44 - December 12, 2002
Boycott Blazers
We need a team that can beat L.A., not women and the justice system!
- Geoff Williams, Trailblazers fan, from the banner he has hanging in front of his business in Portland
Heckle #43 - December 10, 2002
Sportsline Error
Just thought I'd mention that your site is now officially more accurate than Sportsline.com. They apparently aren't paying much attention to their NBA area, as they have the Nets at 13-7 now...the culprit is a left-out Nets win over the Nuggets on the 18th. It's thrown off their standings and schedule pages, and they haven't noticed this in the 3 weeks it has been wrong...that's just plain old sloppiness. Perhaps we should direct them to joenetsfan.com for more accurate results!
- fenfool
Heckle #42 - December 6, 2002
Double Standard
What hell is going on here? How can [the league] give the Knicks an exemption for McDyess the same day he's out for the year, but not on Feick in 2 years already?!?! How is this not a bigger deal?
- Lane Sorkin
Heckle #41 - November 20, 2002
Homebodies
The media has found new and exciting ways to minimize the Nets. In the past, writing about how the Nets would lose game after game was the big easy, now it's "they're a great team but...look, nobody goes to the games." Ha ha ha. Unbelievable. I'm sure it has nothing to do with lack of TV coverage or that ticket prices have gone through the roof. No, can't be.
When will my Joenetsfan.com coffee mug arrive? Once in my possession I'm going to toast the Knicks and the New York media with a nice hot cup of shut the fuck up.
- Mark Ciocco
Heckle #40 - November 18, 2002
Basshole
For all Nets fans who have switched to DirecTV: I was glad to see that I would be seeing a new batch of commercials to be re-run over and over again. No more old, injured athletes or retarded home-owners, thank God. But it is only November 18th, and I already am ripping my hair out over one commercial. This Bass Beer "Get Out of Nebraska Shirt" commercial. This guy is so annoying. While you're getting out of Nebraska with your crappy shirt, get out of my TV, too!
- FCFLink14
Heckle #39 - November 16, 2002
Top Ten Reasons Why the Mutombo Trade was a Bad Idea
10) Our 7'2" plodding African center experiment already failed miserably with Yinka Dare.
9) A pair of floppy feet are better than a pair of hands of stone.
8) Mutumbo's best friend is Patrick Ewing so he'll never win anything either.
7) We lose 8 points a game and 7 octaves going from Keith to Dikembe.
6) Before the season's over Iverson and his posse may come looking for KEITH with a gun.
5) Jason Williams lost his last remaining friend when Keith left New Jersey.
4) Byron's doing more finger wagging at Dikembe on the bench than Dikembe's doing to opponents on the court.
3) Two 26-year olds are better than one 36-year old.
2) Keith's children used to take up entire sections of empty seats at the arena.
1) Mutumbo can't catch the damn ball!!!
- Joss Williams
Heckle #38 - November 14, 2002
What the Feick?
What the heck is going on with our injury exemption for Feick? Last I heard, we applied for the exemption and never heard back from the league office. Did I miss something or is Feick still on our cap? How in the heck do the Knicks get an exemption for McDyess in a day and we can't get one for a guy who hasn't played in 2 years? Did Thorn rub some people the wrong way in that office or what? How does a guy like Feick sleep at night knowing he stole over 10M from the Nets and gave them nothing in return? He hasn't even shown his face on the bench or in the crowd for 2 years. He and the NBA should be ashamed for holding out on us! We may need that exemption to get a player for the stretch run – or McNuggets for Chris Childs.
- Bill Koy
Heckle #37 - November 10, 2002
Brent Bashing
Going back to your take on Brent Mush-Burger – I totally agree. Hearing Douche-Burger on the ESPN telecast of the Nets/Bucks game felt like I was getting 10 root canals done by a blind guy with mittens using a rusty corkscrew. His rah-rah bullshit, lame-ass jokes, and moronic 'observations' don't even work anymore for college football, let alone the slick, breakneck pace of the hip-hop nation that is the NBA. Put Mushy in a box with the aptly named Dick Vitale and drop them off on one of the moons of Jupiter. And cram that little turd Jim Grey in there while you're at it.
- David Cohen
Just reading the latest Heckle. I wanted to bring this link to your attention – kind of funny.
- Mark Ciocco
Heckle #36 - November 8, 2002
The House That Kendall Built
I say keep the Kendall Gill "hate fest" going. He robbed the Nets of millions of dollars, and was awful. Although, maybe he does deserve some credit for this current Nets team. His terrible, unispired play helped us lose more games in the 2000-2001 season which landed us Eddie Griffin, who turned into Richard Jefferson, Jason Collins, and super-bench warmer Brandon Armstrong. Maybe you should dedicate a page to all the former Nets who either sucked or had bad attitudes and how they helped to create the current defending Eastern Conference Champs. You could call it The House That Kendall Built.
- Craig
Heckles #34 & #35 - November 7, 2002
Give it a Rest!
Have you noticed that the Nets are a team unnoticed by many sports writers and players? Tracy McGrady has been playing well lately, but he comes out and says that they are contenders. It's the freakin' 5th game of the season and he proclaims the Magic a top team. I'm happy Tracy believes this after 3 of their 4 wins against teams that will probably not make the playoffs or aren't healthy. The Nets on the otherhand have beaten all playoff teams, Indy, Atlanta, TWolves and the Wizards. Before Tracy McGrady pencils in the Magic for the finals, he must realize the season is only 2 weeks old and they haven't even played a decent team from the East.
- Ian
Give the [Kendall] Gill hate-fests a rest already!
- Charlotte Cutuli
Heckle #33 - November 2, 2002
Damn Kids!
Hi my name is Christy and I went trick or treating at Kenyon Martin house in Closter and I rang the door bell and again and he came and screamed at us!!!! He was mean!!!!!! Send me back an email!
- Christy
Heckle #32 - October 30, 2002
Hostage Note
[Joe Netsfan reader Doug writes: "This is a copy of a letter that I e-mailed to my 3 legislators. A version of it was also sent to all 10 NJ newspapers on your list."]
" I live in Marlboro, in your district, and thought you might like to know my opinions about the current situation with the Nets and Cablevision.
"I've been a Nets fan since the ABA days of Rick Barry. When they've finally arrived in the promised land, namely the NBA finals, Cablevision has cut us off. I know that YES is trying to cut a deal similar to those cut with all the other cable tv outlets but Cablevision does not want to buy in.
"Cablevision's stubborness is depriving all Nets fans of the opportunity to watch their favorite team. I put this squarely on Charles Dolan's shoulders. Since viewership will definitely increase this year since we have a team that actually wins, ad revenue would also increase. Does Mr. Dolan want to spite the fans and himself just to make a point no one cares about? Give us the Nets or break up this cable tv monopoly.
"If there is any way you can intercede on behalf of the Nets fans, it would be most appreciated. Fans of teams that receive public funding for arenas should not be held hostage by cable tv monopolies."
- Doug
Heckle #31 - October 29, 2002
Some Things Never Change
Another season, same old thing. Duly noted at the Nets - Knicks preseason game at the Continental Arena last Friday night:
• Parking did not go down. The price is now $10, up from $8 last season.
• The clown banners are still hanging from the rafters. Will this change tomorrow night, after the Eastern Conference Championship banner-raising ceremony?
• No halftime entertainment. Although, that's better than bad halftime entertainment.
• T shirts shot out of a cannon never go out of style.
It's a new ball game on the court, but everything else remains mired in mediocrity.
- Joe Netsfan
Heckle #30 - October 28, 2002
Never Get On the Boat With Spree
Why does everyone assume that Kenyon Martin is a bad guy? Now Latrell Sprewell, there's a jerk, but KMart really is not. Martin sometimes lets his emotions get the best of him, but that's only in basketball-related affairs. Sprewell has anger problems. I wouldn't want to be stuck on a boat with him. Anyway, KMart's an emotional guy but not a bad one, and Sprewell's that guy you see on the news always getting [in trouble].
- Matt King
Heckle #29 - October 26, 2002
Best Wishes to Nicky Knicksfan
As the 2002-2003 season is about to get underway, let us all join together in wishing the Knicks (an organization more broken than McDyess' knee cap) a delicious 18 and 64 finish.
- Mark Ciocco
Heckle #28 - October 24, 2002
Pop-Up Ads Are Driving Me F**cking Insane
So are Fortune 500 companies that need my help, work-at-home proposals, dick-length-growing pill purveyors, wives of the presidents of banana republics that need me to email them my bank account number, and any "click here to unsubscribe" links in junk email that lead to dead-ends in cyberspace; the latest "outrages" exerpted from dubious news reports and cc'd to me and 85 other recepients by super-patriot senior citizens with access to a rest-home computer, every and all internet jokes, including links to the latest "hilarious" mullet-related websites, chain email, email with attachments from nobody I know, and virus warnings.
- Champagne
Heckle #27 - October 14, 2002
Curses Aren't Just for Jerseyans Anymore
I am beginning to see history repeating itself in the tristate area. Remember that the Nets were terrible after the selling of Dr.J – well, [something similar may be happening] to our cross town rival Knicks (and hopefully it does). After they got rid of Patrick Ewing they have been horrible. Now with McDyess' injury, Spree's hand and Houston's unbelievable contract, I am getting the feeling they are going through what the Nets of the 1980's and 1990's went through. [Only this time it's] THE CURSE OF EWING!!! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!
- Ian Wells
Heckle #26 - October 11, 2002
Cable Greedheads
[Editor's Note: This is an edited excerpt from a letter-to-the-editor that Steve Halo sent to the Newark Star-Ledger]
It is just real sad that the people that run YES and Cablevision are as greedy as they can be!
I once said after spending 2 years in the U.S. Army that I would follow any politician into war as long as he would be in front of me. [In the case of] YES and Cablevision, I am not going to wait and follow these 2 greedy companies while they decide to figure out how much more they can gouge the public. I am a Cablevision customer and it looks like I am going to have to drop them so that I can watch the Nets this season and go to a satellite dish.
Isn't it nice that I spend some seventy dollars per month with Cablevision now and last year I could watch the Nets and this year I can't...it must be nice to indirectly tell your customers that they are stupid. Do I get a rebate back for not being able to watch the Nets? You bet your life I don't.
It must be nice to just throw out a customer that gives you seventy some dollars per month and it doesn't even bother [them, even after they have] lost almost all of their Wiz stores and 50,000 subscribers because of the blackout on the New York Yankees.
Cablevision was put into our area to perform a service and evidently this is not a good service to the paying public.
Maybe the government should investigate [YES and Cablevision] just like the rest of the big greedy people they are coming across lately.
- Steve Halo
Heckles #24 & 25 - October 3, 2002
Props and No Props
Have you looked the the Athlon NBA Preview? They predict Nets vs. Lakers in the Finals! That and $.69 will get you a cup of coffee, but...when did you ever see that in print before? Live for today, Nets fans, we may never pass this way again!
- S. John Deitz
When is the YES Network website going to start posting things related to the Nets? Do you think they'll acknowledge it? Do you think they even care? Or am I missing something?
- Mark Ciocco
Heckle #23 - September 30, 2002
Playing Us?
Geez, Jason Kidd doesn't give straight answers, does he? I thought J-Kidd said he wanted to remain in New Jersey for the rest of his career, but on The Best Damn Sports Show Period, he hinted that he wanted to go to San Antonio. When asked about rumors that he wanted to play with Tim Duncan, Kidd said that it would be nice. Later during the show, he hinted towards the Spurs again. Chris Childs is loving this, isn't he?
- Matt King
Heckle #22 - September 28, 2002
More Than Usually Worthless Trivia
Last Christmas I got a New Jersey Nets-branded "NBA Fact-a-Day" desk calendar. For more than 9 months I've been peeling off the pages and reading the items, which were usually about things that occured on that particular date in NBA history. Then comes summer. I suppose the makers of this dopey thing must have thought I'd have abandoned it after the NBA Finals, because from late June onward about half of the "facts" aren't dated. For instance: the item for Monday, Sept. 30, notes that Pat Riley became the 8th coach to win 800 games "in Miami's 97-95 win at Indiana." And when did that event occur, you might want to know? This officially licensed NBA product does not tell you.
- Champagne
Heckle #21- September 25, 2002
Nets Store Sux
All I want is a home Nets jersey in a kid's size L. But guess what? The NBA Store can't keep them in stock. Can they order more? NO, so they say! They don't have a Kidd jersey either. Guess whose jersey they're selling: Marbury.
- Matt King
Heckle #20 - September 10, 2002
Energee!
Is it just me, or do those Milwaukee Bucks dancers look like they all just came from their first job as waitresses at roadside diners? That might be the scariest collection of ladies since the cast of Golden Girls. I'm never going to Milwaukee.
- Craig
Heckle # 19 - September 5, 2002
Kidd Family Overkill
Don't know if you picked this up or not, but the first pitch at last night's Yankees/Red Sox game was thrown out by none other than Jason Kidd and the omnipresent TJ. And before you ask, it was Jorge Posada who did the catching, not Joumana.
- fenfool
Heckle #18 - August 29, 2002
Mute the Mooks
As I read Champaigne's Brain Bubble on the home page [a pro-Raftery-and-Bird screed], I got to thinking about it. My sentiment on this is, "Who really gives a rat's ass?" Allow me to explain. Yes, announcers sometimes make a difference and I like Raftery and to a lesser extent Eagle. But if we end up with two clowns on the YES Network, so be it. I'll use the same method I've used in the past when NBC (and the always irritating Marv Albert) has carried the games – put the TV on mute! It works. We should focus on the fact that we won't be able to WATCH the games at all via the Cablevision screw job.
- Mark Ciocco
Heckle #17 - August 26, 2002
Into the Mind of a Kidd
This week, Jason's playing coy about returning to the Nets. Next week, he'll love NJ.
You know, my wife is more decisive picking out pumps at Nine West than he is.
When it comes to Jason re-signing, wake me up after the season is over.
- Vince Vincenzo
Heckle #15 & #16- August 23, 2002
With Age Comes Wisdom?
Anyone not too thrilled with what Kidd said at that press conference? We got older? Can't the Nets do anything right for this guy? Is anyone else worried about next summer?
- FCFlink
With The Bling-Bling?
Will he stay? I hear Chad Ford said it was probably his wife who really was controlling the whole thing, and how do you think Rod Thorn is going to woo her and Kidd?
- PageAndPlant
Heckle #14 - August 15, 2002
Jayson Who?
Did you notice that the Nets gave Dikembe Mutombo #55?
Guess we won't be seeing a "Jayson Williams Night" anytime soon.
- Vincent Vincenzo
Heckle #13 - August 12, 2002
Fan-Tasies
Was there anything more pathetic in late '90s sports fandom than Nicky Knicksfan hoping and praying the Knix would land Michael Jordan? AND "the only coach he would play for," Phil Jackson? The Knicks homers on the NY tabloid sports pages baited the traps (screaming "Fire Gundy!" as added enticement) and Nicky took it.
Last week I went away for a Nets-news-free vacation, and when I came back to "Joe," I read that some of you were slavering to trade away most of the Nets' starters for Kevin Garnett. Supposedly a KG/Nets deal had some basis in reality...supposedly. Gut this team for one guy, huh? To my thinking, Garnett's contract may be so big (it's the biggest) that he may never win anywhere until it expires. How can any team afford to pack enough talent around him?
Then Rod Thorn went and bolstered this team defensively – hilariously stealing a pork chop (Mutombo) off of Scott Layden's plate in the process – and the hot, wet, KG panting evaporated. Yes, Thorn, a masterful GM, is all ours, but let's not let our current prosperity go to our heads. I'd hate for "Joe" to go "Nicky" in the early '00s.
Besides, we're saving up for DUNCAN!
- Champagne
Heckle #12 - August 6, 2002
Tall Tales
Better stock up on the surgical tape, Tim Walsh. Noses will be out of joint in the Meadowlands this upcoming season, as the Nets' opponents ply their trade in the paint only to be given instant plastic surgery by our main man Deke. Look at the trade as a two-fold blessing in disguise: Not only is Keith Van Horn permanently removed from the underachievers' hall of shame, but perhaps the only person who could take the refs' eyes off of K-Mart has arrived in East Rutherford.
- Joe Netsfan
Heckle #9, #10 & #11 - July 31, 2002
Child Care
Weren't we happy enough to see him leave the first time around? I mean really. . .
- JL Cohen, ESQ
I like the addition of Childs as back-up point guard, if only because I would get very uncomfortable watching Anthony Johnson do it last year.
-David Kostus
Hmmm...maybe Joe could be back up point guard for the few minutes Jason is not in there :)
-Ted Majdosz
Heckle #8 - July 27, 2002
Knock, Knock
Kidd was supposed to attract better players than Devean George and Chris Childs! Go get Rodney Rogers, Olowakandi, Keon Clark, or Rashard Lewis! These guys can go the ol' Maurice Taylor route and sign a one-year deal and get max later. Not enough playing time? C'mon, like you honestly believe that Keith, Kerry, Kenyon, and Todd can keep it completely healthy for another 82 games – hey, I don't remember anybody knocking on wood when noting that their injury-free season was a big reason for the Nets' success. Want to preserve chemistry? That's a weak excuse used by guys like Donny Marshall to get contracts. So sign someone!
- Rory
Heckle #7 - July 25, 2002
Top Five Changes Paid for by the '02-'03 Ticket Gouge
5) Guaranteed overtime or your money back.
4) Cheerstix for every attendee.
3) Lou Lamoriello Bobblehead Doll Night.
2) All 500 new members of the Power 'N Motion Dance Squad must carry baby oil and a towel.
1) Bruce Springsteen halftime performances at every home game – Flip City Tumblers fired!
- Vincent Vincenzo
Heckle #6 - July 22, 2002
Byron Scott's Wandering Eye
If the Nets are cursed, it's with an institution-wide case of low self-esteem that trickles down to taint every Netsfan's mentality. We're never good enough for anybody, are we? Now Head Coach Byron Scott, who can barely control his LA infatuation – don't think we didn't catch that lingering hug with Kobe Bryant after the last game of the Finals – is making us feel like the Put-Upon Girlfriend [it's been rumored that when Phil Jackson retires Scott would love to take his place].
Here's us: "What do you think of the Lakers? Do you think she's hot?"
Here's Byron Scott: "Naw. I'm really not into large, perfectly formed breasts on that kind of really thin body."
Are we even going out, Byron?
- Champagne
Heckle #5 - July 18, 2002
Rings or Bling-Bling?
Hey Kendall Gill, still happy with your decision not to jump to the Lakers two years ago, and stick with the Nets for the money instead? [Thumb through a copy of Shaq Talks Back for a transcript of Gill's awkward phone call to O'Neal on this topic]. Now Gill is a free agent languishing in Miami, ringless for now and probably forevermore. Devean George was not so silly: after briefly flirting with the Nets, George resigned with the Lakers for 4 years and $20 million. That's rings, plus the blings, Kendall.
Oh yeah, where can I buy a pair of "KGs"?
- Champagne
Heckle #4 - July 17, 2002
Unhand Me, Violet Palmer!
Now that Dee Kantner has been fired, Violet Palmer is the only woman referee in the NBA. Let's not let her get lonely. I'm forming a watchdog group to make sure David Stern hires another referee whose name sounds like a pseudonym for a very self-involved Supervillain.
- Champagne
Heckles #2 & 3 - July 16, 2002
Screw that Skyline Shot
Why not build a new arena more south of the city? Either Edison or Woodbridge are both viable via public transportation and would help define the Nets and the Devils as NJ teams instead of teams in NY's shadow. I got sick of seeing pictures of the NYC skyline during the finals when NBC would do their "outside the arena" shots.
- Steven Wojtowicz
Whatever Jason Wants
Regarding all this talk about the proposed Newark Arena, I am going to make this short and sweet: If Jason wants it, they damn well better find a way to build it.
- Farouk Chakwa
Heckle #1 - July 15, 2002
Keep Joe in Jersey?
Nobody wants me drawing spastic "Connecticut YankeeNets in King George's Court" cartoons, so let's just knock off the threats to move the Devils and the Nets right now, Mr. Steinbrenner. We're sorry that we humble serfs wouldn't pay for an arena in Newark crammed with luxury boxes, so that your rich friends, who wouldn't pay dime one for the priviledge, could sit in them and not watch a sporting event. We've already designed a "Keep Jason Kidd in Jersey" sticker we were just about to foist on our readers... while pondering the logistics of throwing a "Save the Bird" (Ian Eagle) rally in a mall parking lot near you. Now this.
- Champagne
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