Thank you, NEA grant! Champagne's performance art adaptation of tonight's game
Grizzlies 110, Nets 63
Game 23
File
One of the worst games in Nets history
(they were one point from tying their lowest point total ever). It was
certainly the Grizzlies' greatest – their most lopsided. Plagued
by injuries, turnovers, foul trouble, and terrible shooting, the Nets
score the fewest points of any Grizzly opponent. Collins did not play
(ankle injury), Harris had to leave at the end of the 3rd with an ankle
sprain, Jefferson's back seized up, Rogers was gimping...and Damone Brown
saw 14 minutes of action.
• Box
Score
Nets Record: 11 - 12
Home Record: 5 - 6
Away Record: 6 - 6
Division Record: 4 - 0
Conf. Record: 6 - 5
Other Game Reviews
Nets High Men:
• Points: Kenyon
Martin, 12.
• Assists: Jason
Kidd, 6.
• Rebounds: Aaron
Williams, 8.
• Steals: Kidd,
Jefferson and Brown
each had 2.
• Turnovers: Kenyon
Martin, 5.
• Blocks: Aaron
Williams, 1.
• FG Percentage: Aaron
Williams, 80% (4 - 5).
Nets Team Stats:
• FG Percentage: 34.2%
• FT Percentage: 68.8%
• Rebounds: 37
• Rebound Differential: +1
• Turnovers: 30
• Turnover Differential: +13
• Bench
points: 23
• Bench
points Differential: -28
• Steals:
10
• Blocks:
1
• Points
in the Paint: 30
• Double-Doubles:
None
• Triple-Doubles:
None
The Kidd Effect:
• Nets Players in Double Digit Scoring:
3
• Nets Fast Break Points: 3
• Kidd's FG Percentage: 28.6%
(4 - 14).
• Scoring
Differential Kidd in the game: -31
• Scoring
Differential Kidd out (Pack at PG: -18. Harris/Kittles PG combo: +2):
-16
• Double-Doubles
this Season: 6
• Triple
Doubles this Season: 4
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Pooping in the Pyramid
If you watched this game in its hideous bowl-wrapping entirety, you know that it will haunt you for a lifetime as one of the worst Nets games ever played. If you turned this off early, you may have blessed yourself with a chance to flush this turd from memory.
The Nets have a storied history of stinking up stalls up and down the NBA highway – tonight they were 1 point up from matching their franchise record-low point total, which they achieved 7 years ago, January 28, 1997 versus Cleveland, when they scored 62. In the sloshing final frame, the Nets mind-bogglingly inept bench managed to score 10 points, missing another tie with another record: fewest points scored in the 4th quarter (9, a multitude of shameful, stinking times).
Here's what you need to know: Jason Collins could not play due to a left ankle sprain, leaving A-Train to start. The first quarter was a brimming bedpan of turnovers for both teams, before Memphis wiped up and started getting the ball in the bowl, outscoring the Nets by 12. In the second Rogers tweaked an ankle, Richard Jefferson had to return from the bench from the scorer's table when his back began to spasm (he eventually would play in the 3rd), and the fouls and turnovers (traveling, airballs, double dribbles, and more bad passes than George Michaels receives in Hyde Park loos) continued to rise. At the half, Rogers, Williams and Martin had 3 fouls apiece, and the Nets had zero fast break points and had shot zero free throws. They were down by 17.
In the third, the Nets got killed by Memphis 3-point shots (4 this quarter, 8 of 16 for the game) and slammed in the paint (where the Grizz scored 52 points), while Harris lost a ball out of bounds off his foot, then stepped on Bonzi Wells' foot and twisted his right ankle. He would not return. Nets down by 29.
The Nets bench was cleared, and Memphis only continued to surge, capping off their greatest victory (Nets scored the fewest points of any Grizzly opponent, and it was Memphis' most lopsided victory) with a Wells lob to a flying Stromile Swift, who made a tremendous one-handed jam.
Mr. Hankie the Christmas Poo's Awards
Stinkingest Nets Shooter - That'd be recently activated Damone Brown, who went 0 - 6 from the field in his 14 minutes of infamy. Went 1 - 2 from stripe, scored one point
Stinkingest Nets Starter - Kittles edges Richard Jefferson by a brown nose. Both scored 4 points, but Kittles took 5 minutes more to do it, and shot a worse percentage from the floor (1 - 6 to RJ's 2 - 6).
Most Unclean Hands - Are on Rodney Rogers, who turned the ball over 4 times and made zero steals, shot 2 - 7 from the field, 1 - 2 from the line, and came up with only 3 rebounds in 20 minutes.
Most Satisfying Dump - Aaron Williams merely stinks less than the rest of his team. He did not score in the first half, but he ended up with 10 points, shot 80%, and picked up 8 rebounds. The closest any Net got to a double-double tonight.
Golden Roll of Charmin Award - Goes to Tamar Slay, who could use some soft tissue to cushion the blows he took. Out-of-control Grizz rookie Troy Bell rang Slay's, hard-fouling him and sending him to the floor after Slay stole a ball and was running it in for a lay-in. Worked hard, shot ugly: 2 - 5 from the field and 1 - 4 from the line...however, Slay's four free-throw attempts were 2 more than any other Net attempted.
The Unrunny Doody Cup - Awarded to this game for least fastbreak points scored by the Nets all season, so far: 3.
The Filthy Mop - Give it to the Nets to clean up their alley-oop misses. The Nets converted on only 1 of their 4 attempts at the lob-and-slam (Martin from Kidd in the 3rd). What was Robert Pack doing throwing one to Damone Brown?
Triumph the Insult Coach
Pop a fat cigar in Grizz coach Hubie Brown's mouth. This guy is proving an old dog can teach young ones new tricks, and that he knows how to tear NJ a new one (Memphis takes the series with NJ, 2 - 0). His best gag was employing a sticky, icky man-on-man defense that had our depleted, dehydrated crew confused and clueless. His deep bears spread the ball around (32 assists, doubling the Nets' 16), got balance (6 players in double-digit scoring: Mike Miller, Earl Watson, Pao Gasol, Lorenzen Wright, Bonzi Wells, and Stromile Swift), shot 50% from beyond the arc, and a tremendous 62% from the field. The Nets are an excellent team – for Hubie to poop on!
- Champagne
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